great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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