singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
