Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
