At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
