If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
