This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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