The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Randomize
