it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
