I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
