right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Watching her eat just hurts me
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize
