hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
