I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
