She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
