I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
