Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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