Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
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