I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize