the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
