Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
