Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize