just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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