I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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