Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
