she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Randomize
