Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
