i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
