You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I think people are normalizing furries
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
