could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I just want to make out with him forever
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
There are leaves in my underwear?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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