The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
