I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
