i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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