What a fucking waste of an outfit
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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