Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
