Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
