I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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