question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
