Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
be right there i have to get my cape
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
