Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
