Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Randomize