I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
