Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I have feelings that need drinking.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
