dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize