What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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