Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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