try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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