idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
