I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
