My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
