I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Randomize
