THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
