all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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