Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
