Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize