I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
