East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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