you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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