girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
