She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
