there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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