when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
