We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
