it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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