They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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