AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize