So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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