please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
