Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
